This is it! But it's appropriate...

The day is finally here; where I finally head down to Nauvoo with the Hartleys and stay at their house for two weeks while I serve in the Nauvoo Pageant Red Cast.

I never thought this day would get here. Looking back now, the time went by so fast I can't believe it. I'm glad we're going down tonight. It seems appropriate that I go down to Nauvoo to continue in the work that the Prophet Joseph Smith started on the anniversary of his martyrdom.

Praise to the Man indeed! :)

Millions shall know "Brother Joseph" again!

Hail to the Prophet, ascended to heaven,
Traitors and tyrants now fight him in vain.
Mingling with God, he can plan for his brethren.
Death cannot conquer the hero again!

Slan go foill...

It's almost here!

It's almost here! You're probably asking yourselves, "What's almost here?" The time for me to leave Iowa City and go down to Nauvoo for two weeks.

Yep, it's almost time for me to pack up my things and head down to Nauvoo to prepare for my participation in the Nauvoo Pageant. I have this week to work, finish a paper, do some quizzes and reading, and gather whatever needful things for the pageant that I have yet to gather. Either a week from tonight or a week from tomorrow morning, I'll be heading down to Nauvoo with some friends and staying at their house.

The time did fly by fast. I didn't think it would. Now that it's almost here, I can't wait. I'm looking forward to going down and being a part of something that I've loved to watch since it was first presented in 2005. Of course I imagined my mother coming down to see it, but I know she'll be here in spirit.

Mom, this is for you! :)

Slan go foill...

Upheavals, good grades, and prepping for the pageant...

It's been a few months since I last updated. I've been rather busy.

First of all, I'm roommate-less at the moment. Turns out there were some problems, and since she was getting married anyway, Kristy moved out. What really hurt was that she did this without talking to me or owning up to those problems.

Because of the problems, I've had to take on more debt to fix them, and I was thinking that I wouldn't be able to do the pageant this summer. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to afford to take two weeks off work to do it. But I am determined to do this. The Lord needs me in Nauvoo for those two weeks this summer, and while it looks like the adversary is trying to make it so I don't go, he won't succeed. Even if I have to get help from family to make sure the bills are paid, I'm still going.

I got my grades from my last two terms. I did make the Dean's List for the December term, and I almost got straight A's for this last term, which would've made me prime for President's List. However, I did bomb the final exam for Accounting I, but I got a final grade of A-. I was SO DANG CLOSE!!!!! But that's okay. Dean's List is nothing to sniff at. It's a great accomplishment. :)

Now, I've started a new term at Kaplan, with three online classes: Finance, Managerial Accounting for Professionals, and Operations Management. It's going to be hard juggling classes, work, and the Nauvoo Pageant. However, if I exercise some faith and work hard, I should be able to pull it off.

Slan go foill...

Decisions, promises, and the Nauvoo Pageant!

It's been two months since I got the word that I would be serving in the Nauvoo Pageant Red Cast. And since then, I've been nurtured, have seemingly gained another big brother, and have been refined in ways I don't recommend. I've also learned a lot from the experiences I've had and the decisions those close to me have made, as well as a conscious decision I made as the result of a promise I made to someone who's becoming a good friend to me.

One of my friends is engaged to someone outside of the Church. Yes, I'm happy for her, but I can see she's letting things go, like the chance for an eternal family. She says he could join the Church, but she's not going to push him in that direction if it's not what he wants.

When she announced her engagement, I once again found myself wondering what was lacking in me that I couldn't find anyone. At that time, I felt like I was running out of time and so I started going to more singles activities, desperate to find that special someone. It was at one of these activities that I made a promise to someone. He helped me see that I didn't need to worry about time. And because he knows about my friend and her situation, as well as my own situation and my desire to move to Utah when I'm done with school, he persuaded me to promise him that for the rest of this year, I wouldn't think about any timetable; that I would just relax and be myself, especially at the singles activities.

So it is a conscious decision I've made to no longer worry about my being single. Besides, as a single person, I can do more things, like be in the Nauvoo Pageant, and I'm looking forward to serving for those two weeks this summer. It's time for me to put myself in the Lord's hands and not back down, no matter what people say.

Slan go foill...

Another loss in my life...

Last week I had to endure another loss, under three months after Mom died too...

My friend, Andy, passed away unexpectedly in his sleep last Thursday and I didn't hear about it until early Saturday morning.

I first met him when I was introduced to him by a mutual friend from church. We met at a singles activity. Our friend had some hopes that he and I would start dating. I did try to have feelings for him, but it couldn't be forced. Instead, a nice comfortable friendship developed over the years.

When I moved to Coralville, I was surprised to find he lived in our complex, just a couple apartment buildings away, so when I wasn't busy (which unfortunately wasn't often because of Mom's illness), I tried to hang out with him, whether it be on Facebook chat, or occasionally going out. When I had to deal with having to work Sundays at my last job and was so upset that I cried to the point that my eyes were red and swollen, it was Andy who took me out for ice cream and tried to cheer me up. When I struggled with being single and seeing friends around me in the church getting engaged, it was Andy who could relate because he struggled with it too. And then there were times when the roles were reversed because he struggled with it more than I did, almost to the point where he considered leaving the church.

The last time I saw him alive was when he came to my ward by mistake. Because of the time change, he came to our services. It didn't matter to me. I was just so happy he was working on coming back to church!

Once again, I keep going back to what Melissa said to me once; the Lord's ways are higher than our ways. I was wondering why Andy had to leave just when he was getting his testimony revived, but I know why. It was his time to go, and his progression will continue on the other side.

God be with you until we meet again, Andy. This is NOT goodbye; this is see you later. I love you, buddy.

Slan go foill...

Possible Dean's Lister here...

Kristy and I were looking at my grades before my online seminar tonight and there's a possibility that I could be on the Dean's List. That's never happened before.

Not to be prideful or anything, but...it feels GREAT!!!!!!

Slan go foill...

Truth is the hardest tale to tell...

It is as the quote goes: "Truth is the hardest tale to tell, for each heart holds a different truth. This truth is held by mine."

I learned this the hard way I fear after attending an LDS singles conference with Kjersha last weekend in St. Louis, and after learning more in the aftermath...

I had met someone who shall remain nameless. We started hanging out and spending time together during said conference. We even danced together several times and I felt such an innocent pleasure in it. I was exhilerated that he found me beautiful and attractive.

And then the other friend and I go back home to IC, and I, having exchanged contact info with him, decide to wait before emailing him, not wanting to come on too strong. And I get busy with getting back to my own life, work and school. So he sends me an email via Facebook two nights ago that he had met a wonderful woman several months ago and that they were to be married in the spring.

Hence the quote to this entry, "Truth is the hardest tale to tell." Because he could've told me about his engagement before any flirting on his or my part went on. Instead, he flirted with me, and let me flirt with him. I was angry and I was very hurt. I had been used and abused, because he needed someone to make him feel good, and I was right there and lonely and vulnerable; I was reeled right into his web. I'm well on my way to being over it, and ready to write him off romantically, especially after finding out about some things that he'd done in the past.

Here's hoping that I don't get to the point where I trust no man, because that would be truly sad. I want to be able to give myself to someone special for eternity, but that won't happen if I can't trust any man. Right now, I must heal from this, which I am doing, and get on with my life; which includes preparing to go to the Nauvoo Pageant this summer for two weeks, and continuing on with school, as well as my goal to move out to Utah and be in the middle of Mormon country.

Slan go foill...