Decisions, promises, and the Nauvoo Pageant!

It's been two months since I got the word that I would be serving in the Nauvoo Pageant Red Cast. And since then, I've been nurtured, have seemingly gained another big brother, and have been refined in ways I don't recommend. I've also learned a lot from the experiences I've had and the decisions those close to me have made, as well as a conscious decision I made as the result of a promise I made to someone who's becoming a good friend to me.

One of my friends is engaged to someone outside of the Church. Yes, I'm happy for her, but I can see she's letting things go, like the chance for an eternal family. She says he could join the Church, but she's not going to push him in that direction if it's not what he wants.

When she announced her engagement, I once again found myself wondering what was lacking in me that I couldn't find anyone. At that time, I felt like I was running out of time and so I started going to more singles activities, desperate to find that special someone. It was at one of these activities that I made a promise to someone. He helped me see that I didn't need to worry about time. And because he knows about my friend and her situation, as well as my own situation and my desire to move to Utah when I'm done with school, he persuaded me to promise him that for the rest of this year, I wouldn't think about any timetable; that I would just relax and be myself, especially at the singles activities.

So it is a conscious decision I've made to no longer worry about my being single. Besides, as a single person, I can do more things, like be in the Nauvoo Pageant, and I'm looking forward to serving for those two weeks this summer. It's time for me to put myself in the Lord's hands and not back down, no matter what people say.

Slan go foill...

Another loss in my life...

Last week I had to endure another loss, under three months after Mom died too...

My friend, Andy, passed away unexpectedly in his sleep last Thursday and I didn't hear about it until early Saturday morning.

I first met him when I was introduced to him by a mutual friend from church. We met at a singles activity. Our friend had some hopes that he and I would start dating. I did try to have feelings for him, but it couldn't be forced. Instead, a nice comfortable friendship developed over the years.

When I moved to Coralville, I was surprised to find he lived in our complex, just a couple apartment buildings away, so when I wasn't busy (which unfortunately wasn't often because of Mom's illness), I tried to hang out with him, whether it be on Facebook chat, or occasionally going out. When I had to deal with having to work Sundays at my last job and was so upset that I cried to the point that my eyes were red and swollen, it was Andy who took me out for ice cream and tried to cheer me up. When I struggled with being single and seeing friends around me in the church getting engaged, it was Andy who could relate because he struggled with it too. And then there were times when the roles were reversed because he struggled with it more than I did, almost to the point where he considered leaving the church.

The last time I saw him alive was when he came to my ward by mistake. Because of the time change, he came to our services. It didn't matter to me. I was just so happy he was working on coming back to church!

Once again, I keep going back to what Melissa said to me once; the Lord's ways are higher than our ways. I was wondering why Andy had to leave just when he was getting his testimony revived, but I know why. It was his time to go, and his progression will continue on the other side.

God be with you until we meet again, Andy. This is NOT goodbye; this is see you later. I love you, buddy.

Slan go foill...