Shadows of the Past

Everyone has things from their past that they're ashamed. I know I do. And I have a lot of regret.

When I was younger (definitely pre-baptism), there was a guy in my life, and I will admit I was a bit of a brat to him. I'm old enough where I can admit accountability for it. But because of it, there were scars left on my soul that probably won't heal. And, I'm afraid to take chances with any man, even now with someone who will remain nameless.

I know I have the gospel and I am a daughter of God, but some old habits die hard. This person from my high school years is a dark chapter in my life that I will never repeat.

But I also know now that had I been raised a Mormon and had the knowledge of temple marriage and LDS dating, this person who was a dark chapter in my life would never have gotten a first glance from me. I wouldn't have gone so crazy and done and said stuff back then that will remain unwritten here. That's where my regret lies.

I know what Mama Gelder would tell me at this point if she knew what was going on in my head. She would tell me to not look back, to remember my worth as a daughter of God. I need to remember this.

Slan go foill...