So, a week or so after I was sealed to my parents, I had to undergo surgery.
What happened was that the week before the sealing, I started feeling sick. I had bad chest pains and was scared. But I was able to make them subside with medication, and the issue was under control...NOT!
A few days later, and a few days before the sealing, I woke up at 3 am, in severe pain, accompanied with some vomiting. That in itself scared the daylights out of me! One knew it was really bad when I couldn't watch my favorite show on demand, and ended up having to call in sick to work. I later called my health insurance provider and they recommended that I go to an urgent care facility, because it sounded like I was in a great deal of pain. I called my friend, Trish, and she took me to Insta-Care in Murray. Blood tests, EKG, chest x-ray all pointed to an ulcer at first, but the blood tests came back after I was released from Insta-Care showing that I had pancreatitis. Basically, it meant that my pancreatic enzyme levels, as well as my liver enzyme levels, were dangerously high. This can be caused by a gall bladder stone that can be blocking to the bile duct (ewwww!). The recommended treatment: surgery to remove the gall bladder to keep it from happening again. This was discovered when I had to go to Intermountain Salt Lake Clinic for an ultrasound. When the surgeon met with me later, he told me that it was serious, and could kill me if we weren't careful. So he had me take another blood test to see if my enzyme levels were back down. If not, I was going to have to be in the hospital that night. Thankfully, because of the priesthood blessing I'd been given the night before, blood tests showed that the levels were going back down. And then, I learned that my surgery was having a change of venue. It was because IMC wasn't in my insurance provider's network. As a result, I was referred to Salt Lake Regional Medical Center and had another surgical consult, as well as more blood drawn (I swear the hospitals are filled with vampires!!!!). But the tests came back with my enzyme levels back down to normal, so until that day, I was forced on a liquid diet. Couldn't stand it!
But once I was off the liquid diet, I was able to celebrate my sealing with two dinner outings. The first was that night; the second was a couple of days later, with a guy buddy that I care for deeply (and that's all I will say).
The day before the surgery, guy buddy and another one of my friends gave me a priesthood blessing to help me cope with the stress of the surgery and the strain it would have on my body. I was told in the blessing to be patient during my recovery. I suspect the Spirit told my friend that I had a tendency to do too much too fast during my recovery from illnesses in the past.
The day of, I went to the hospital with one of my Relief Society sisters and she and our RS president waited with me until it was time for me to go to the OR. They saw me all decked out in my gown, sockies, and surgical cap to protect my hair. I was wheeled away to the OR, had a mask put over my nose and mouth, felt a burning sensation, via the IV drip, and I floated away...
I woke up a little while later in recovery, with Lindsey, the RS president still with me. She stayed until I was released since it was an outpatient procedure. She then took me home, made sure I was fed and medicated before putting me to bed, and then she was texting friends and family, including the friend who'd given the blessing the day before, letting him know that I'd call him the following day, which I did.
The week of recovery was pretty uneventful. I was in a bit of pain and discomfort, and tried to keep up with my class, and did quite well, thank you! Something else happened during my recovery. I developed feelings for a man, the first man I've had feelings for since the abusive relationship. Sadly, for me, he just wants friendship. I still hold out a bit of hope and will continue to do so for a time.
Slan go foill...
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Friday, November 20, 2015
Singles wards, Mom, Dad, temple covenants, and...the temple!!!!
It's been several months since I last wrote in here, but a lot has happened!
Since May, I've been attending a singles ward, and it's been awesome! I'm able to get there on my own, and I like the location. It has a lot of history.
Finally, in August, I was able to get started on my dad's temple work. The night before I did, however, I had an in-home accident. I was knocked silly, but not too terribly hurt after slipping and falling in my bathtub whilst taking a bath. It did shake me up a bit because I thought I was seriously hurt. A phone call to my friend, Tessie, helped reassure me that everything was all right.
I told her about my plans to have Dad's temple work started the following day.
Her response, "That's why this is happening."
She suggested that I verbally command the adversary to leave my apartment (which I did after we got off the phone), and then watching something that would distract me before going to sleep. It worked and I felt better.
The next day, I left work early and went down to the Salt Lake Temple where I was met by one of my guy buddies. It was great watching him do some of the ordinances on my father's behalf. The rest of the ordinances were finished later, and it was in October that I was finally sealed to my parents.
I really remember a lot of the obstacles that were in my way that week: work stress, homework stress and a final exam, and a nasty attack of pancreatitis caused by a gall stone that left me very ill and in a lot of pain. It was determined that I would need to have surgery to take care of it (and that's another story altogether!!!!). But with the power of the priesthood, and my own determination to follow doctor's orders, the surgery ended up having a change of venue, and could be postponed because my pancreatic enzyme levels had gone back down to normal (and when I got sick, they were sky high!!!).
The Spirit was strong when I went to the temple that day for my temple shift. I left early to be prepared for the sealing. When I came into the room, my friends were there. A few from my temple shift; a couple from my current ward; and several from my home ward; as well as other friends from work and other places. Some of them told me later that they could feel my parents close by and could see the peace on my face and in my countenance that it was done at last.
I have a strong testimony that the gospel is true; that temple work is important, and that if we are faithful, we'll be with our loved ones forever. Nothing is more important than that. And I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen!
Slan go foill...
Since May, I've been attending a singles ward, and it's been awesome! I'm able to get there on my own, and I like the location. It has a lot of history.
Finally, in August, I was able to get started on my dad's temple work. The night before I did, however, I had an in-home accident. I was knocked silly, but not too terribly hurt after slipping and falling in my bathtub whilst taking a bath. It did shake me up a bit because I thought I was seriously hurt. A phone call to my friend, Tessie, helped reassure me that everything was all right.
I told her about my plans to have Dad's temple work started the following day.
Her response, "That's why this is happening."
She suggested that I verbally command the adversary to leave my apartment (which I did after we got off the phone), and then watching something that would distract me before going to sleep. It worked and I felt better.
The next day, I left work early and went down to the Salt Lake Temple where I was met by one of my guy buddies. It was great watching him do some of the ordinances on my father's behalf. The rest of the ordinances were finished later, and it was in October that I was finally sealed to my parents.
I really remember a lot of the obstacles that were in my way that week: work stress, homework stress and a final exam, and a nasty attack of pancreatitis caused by a gall stone that left me very ill and in a lot of pain. It was determined that I would need to have surgery to take care of it (and that's another story altogether!!!!). But with the power of the priesthood, and my own determination to follow doctor's orders, the surgery ended up having a change of venue, and could be postponed because my pancreatic enzyme levels had gone back down to normal (and when I got sick, they were sky high!!!).
The Spirit was strong when I went to the temple that day for my temple shift. I left early to be prepared for the sealing. When I came into the room, my friends were there. A few from my temple shift; a couple from my current ward; and several from my home ward; as well as other friends from work and other places. Some of them told me later that they could feel my parents close by and could see the peace on my face and in my countenance that it was done at last.
I have a strong testimony that the gospel is true; that temple work is important, and that if we are faithful, we'll be with our loved ones forever. Nothing is more important than that. And I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen!
Slan go foill...
Friday, May 29, 2015
My dad...
Amid all the stuff that was happening to me with my emotionally abusive relationship (see previous post), I also ended up being dealt another devastating loss.
On August 22, 2014, I got a phone call from my brother that I never wanted to get: Dad was in the hospital and it didn't look good. It didn't take long for him to go downhill and he finally passed away three days later, on Monday August 25, 2014, the day before Mom's B-day.
Uncle Carlos later said it was because he wanted to be with Mom on her birthday, but I'm not so sure.
As I went through the stages of mourning, the denial, the anger (and I was pissed off big time!!!!), the bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance, I had to accept that my dad had issues and demons, and they ended up killing him. But that I can break those cycles in my own life, and I already am.
My dad was a heavy drinker, had been from the time I was alive, or possibly before. Alcoholism is rarely pretty. There were times when Dad was drunk, and then he'd say things that were degrading and verbally abusive. My brothers apparently endured a lot of that at his hands.
In a way, so did I, especially when I decided to become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He HATED that. He always said that I was a Catholic; I was born a Catholic, baptized a Catholic, and would always be a Catholic. When he was drunk, especially as I became a mid-single adult, he'd ask when I was getting married. When I told him I didn't know, he'd say, "You're not getting any younger." He finally apologized for that, but I could tell he was tickled pink when I got engaged. I'm glad he didn't see the emotional abuse I went through to try to make one of his wishes come true and get married and settle down.
At least when Mom was alive, she kept him under control, especially with his drinking and smoking. When she died, he went downhill. It was like he didn't really care. He figured with my brothers and I leading our own lives, Dan in Bettendorf, Dave in Moline, and me here in Salt Lake City, UT, that we were fine.
I'm not really fine. Sometimes great things happen, like me starting my MBA Program at ITT Technical Institute and getting excellent grades, and then I want to call him, but then I remember that he's not here and I can't call him anymore. :(
What I am looking forward to doing, and I think it will bring about the ultimate healing for me, is having Dad's temple work done for him. I have a friend who can help me with that, and then I'll be sealed to my parents in the temple, as though I'd been born under the temple covenant. I have a feeling Dad will accept the work. My friend Kym once said that when he's on the other side of the veil in the Spirit World, all the alcoholism isn't there and his mind's clearer. Here's hoping he'll be receptive.
Slan go foill...
On August 22, 2014, I got a phone call from my brother that I never wanted to get: Dad was in the hospital and it didn't look good. It didn't take long for him to go downhill and he finally passed away three days later, on Monday August 25, 2014, the day before Mom's B-day.
Uncle Carlos later said it was because he wanted to be with Mom on her birthday, but I'm not so sure.
As I went through the stages of mourning, the denial, the anger (and I was pissed off big time!!!!), the bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance, I had to accept that my dad had issues and demons, and they ended up killing him. But that I can break those cycles in my own life, and I already am.
My dad was a heavy drinker, had been from the time I was alive, or possibly before. Alcoholism is rarely pretty. There were times when Dad was drunk, and then he'd say things that were degrading and verbally abusive. My brothers apparently endured a lot of that at his hands.
In a way, so did I, especially when I decided to become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He HATED that. He always said that I was a Catholic; I was born a Catholic, baptized a Catholic, and would always be a Catholic. When he was drunk, especially as I became a mid-single adult, he'd ask when I was getting married. When I told him I didn't know, he'd say, "You're not getting any younger." He finally apologized for that, but I could tell he was tickled pink when I got engaged. I'm glad he didn't see the emotional abuse I went through to try to make one of his wishes come true and get married and settle down.
At least when Mom was alive, she kept him under control, especially with his drinking and smoking. When she died, he went downhill. It was like he didn't really care. He figured with my brothers and I leading our own lives, Dan in Bettendorf, Dave in Moline, and me here in Salt Lake City, UT, that we were fine.
I'm not really fine. Sometimes great things happen, like me starting my MBA Program at ITT Technical Institute and getting excellent grades, and then I want to call him, but then I remember that he's not here and I can't call him anymore. :(
What I am looking forward to doing, and I think it will bring about the ultimate healing for me, is having Dad's temple work done for him. I have a friend who can help me with that, and then I'll be sealed to my parents in the temple, as though I'd been born under the temple covenant. I have a feeling Dad will accept the work. My friend Kym once said that when he's on the other side of the veil in the Spirit World, all the alcoholism isn't there and his mind's clearer. Here's hoping he'll be receptive.
Slan go foill...
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Two years away, and life's lessons
It's been almost two years since I last posted in here. A lot has happened in that time.
My previous relationship ended...not with a bang, or a whimper, but rather a shrug. He wanted the benefits of a relationship, and not the relationship.
Which sent me into a relationship that I thought was a dream come true, but turned out to be my worst nightmare. We rushed into the engagement very quickly, and it was the beginning of an emotional roller coaster for me. It was also a red flag for an abusive relationship. There were other red flags that I kept ignoring until January of this year: he'd be hot and then cold; he wanted me to spend all my time with him; he wanted my likes and dislikes to mirror his exactly; he didn't like that I spent time with his family without him, like when he was at school or work, and he left me to my own devices when I was visiting; he also wanted me to agree with him on everything. He also wanted me to do things that were only appropriate in marriage before we were to marry. I refused of course.
That's NOT how I operate! But the straw the finally broke my back was when he took my phone and deleted his stuff off of it. What gave him the right to invade my privacy like that?!
The reason I'm putting this on my very public blog, is that I want to warn others the way someone in my ward warned me.
If there are any of the abovementioned behaviors happening in your relationship, it is NOT okay. You need to get out posthaste! I'm glad I did.
It also showed me that it's okay to be alone. It's better to be alone than to be in a relationship like that. If I'd married him, I would've become a shell of my former self and I would've been unequally yoked.
Slan go foill...
My previous relationship ended...not with a bang, or a whimper, but rather a shrug. He wanted the benefits of a relationship, and not the relationship.
Which sent me into a relationship that I thought was a dream come true, but turned out to be my worst nightmare. We rushed into the engagement very quickly, and it was the beginning of an emotional roller coaster for me. It was also a red flag for an abusive relationship. There were other red flags that I kept ignoring until January of this year: he'd be hot and then cold; he wanted me to spend all my time with him; he wanted my likes and dislikes to mirror his exactly; he didn't like that I spent time with his family without him, like when he was at school or work, and he left me to my own devices when I was visiting; he also wanted me to agree with him on everything. He also wanted me to do things that were only appropriate in marriage before we were to marry. I refused of course.
That's NOT how I operate! But the straw the finally broke my back was when he took my phone and deleted his stuff off of it. What gave him the right to invade my privacy like that?!
The reason I'm putting this on my very public blog, is that I want to warn others the way someone in my ward warned me.
If there are any of the abovementioned behaviors happening in your relationship, it is NOT okay. You need to get out posthaste! I'm glad I did.
It also showed me that it's okay to be alone. It's better to be alone than to be in a relationship like that. If I'd married him, I would've become a shell of my former self and I would've been unequally yoked.
Slan go foill...
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